Book Review: Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Title: Wallbanger (Cocktail #1)

Author: Alice Clayton

Pages: 365

Genre: New Adult (Romance, Contemporary, Humour)

Published: August 13th 2013 by Gallery Books

Source:  Library Book

Synopsis: 

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly...

In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...

Review:

If I am being honest I have absolutely no idea why I decided to read this book. HAHA.

I guess I picked up this book, because of the blurb. I really liked the blurb. Which was a shocker to me, because I do NOT read books like this ever.
I liked the idea, it was cool and interesting and something I hadn't heard of before. 

I enjoyed the first part of the book it was great. Caroline is a brilliant character, with aspects I also didn't love. I love the fact that she talks to her cat, I love that she bakes. I love that she refers to her lady parts in third person and that they have their own name. Which I might add have not had a *gasp* orgasm or O in six months after a horrible one night stand. 

So Caroline has just moved into a new apartment which her boss has sublet to her. Caroline loves this apartment, until she is asleep, which is when she is introduced to the Wallbanger and his lady friend Spanks, who LOVES to be spanked. She has a shit nights sleep. The next night we are introduced to Purina. 
Purina LOVES to purr, and Caroline's cat falls for this lady on the other side of the wall, due to her purrs. 
On the third night its Giggles, and boy does she giggle and snort.

So basically Wallbanger has three girls on rotation. I didn't like this, I think its because of the fact that he had sex with a different one each night, and then rested. Why not have sex, rest one night, etc. 
But oh well.

After a while Caroline and her "hoohah" have had enough. She barges over to Wallbanger's apartment in her skimpy pink nightie while he and one of his lady friends are getting it on. This where we are officially introduced to Wallbanger, who is of course quite good looking. He answers the door in a sheet, merely held around his waist, and of course while yelling at Wallbanger the thing Caroline notices is that HE IS STILL HARD. Oh snap. 
They argue, and slam doors blah blah blah. And so the rivalry begins. 
Caroline soon starts to dream of him in her sleep, of him doing her and banging her into the wall. 

Fast forward to Caroline's boss' party, where she brings her two best friends Mimi and Sophia. Cue two hot boys being spotted that are exactly what the best friends love in men. Cue Wallbanger being the third man. Turns out his name is Simon.

Cue awkward/sexual tension. Simon then kisses Caroline, she slaps him, then she kisses him. Um okay?
The friends then ditch them, so he drives her back to their apartment building, on this drive they create a truce.

Okay this is where the book went downhill for me. That rivalry was practically non-existent. It was nuts.

Fast forward, they become friends, they go to each others place like all the time, they cook for each other. THERE IS SUCH TENSION. Caroline goes on a date with an ex, Simon is all jelly. 

All the friends go away. Basically two couples, plus Simon and Caroline. Simon and Caroline fix the friends dating the wrong people issue, then they proceed to GET IT ON in the hottub, until Simon the Wallbanger, is like oh hells no, we ain't doing this. Caroline feel rejected. 

By this stage I was so over this book. I didn't want to finish it, but I had too, there was around 100 pages left. 
So it is awkward for a bit, Simon gives her an expensive woolen jumper.

Okay this is the thing that really got me. They then proceed to go to FREAKING SPAIN. WHAT IN THE HELL, LIKE I KNOW YOU PLANNED IT, AND THERE IS ALL THIS SEXUAL TENSION AND ALL, BUT WHY. 

So while in Spain they start to I have no idea date? So they also decide to "take it slow" um okay? Whatever.
On the last nigh they decide after five days its time to have sex. Alright you fast ones. I know you had pent up sexual tension for months, but FIVE DAYS REALLY? I don't even care if you are in Spain its been five days. 
Basically she fakes an orgasm, since her O didn't come back, *GASP* oh no.

So she goes back home, and spends the flight basically crying/being angry. She proceeds to then bake the night away. How much cooking supplies does she have really? Then Simon appears *GASP* (he wasn't meant to get back for another two days or something). She tells him about O, and then they get it on.

I was really over this book by now. Queue two weeks later, they have the two couples over plus Caroline's boss and her partner, who then tell them, this WAS ALL A BLOODY SET-UP. UM WHAT THE HELL.

Overall I liked the first 60ish pages, and the rest kind of annoyed me. It could have been so much better, as it was such a great idea!!!
Everything just worked too perfectly to be real. The whole our best friends are dating and perfect for each other we must be too! That annoyed me. The nick names really pissed me off, like really, Wallbanger and Nightie Girl. Just why?

Basically, it was just okay. Well kind of okay. It had such great potential, it just didn't work for me. But I am sure many people will enjoy this novel, I just didn't

Rating: ★★★